Whose Young Woman is this?

I was doing a Bible study session and we came across this verse, Ruth 2:5 "Then Boaz said to his servant who was in charge of the reapers 'Whose young woman is this?'". This verse held me up. I was stuck on it and for some reason, I couldn't move forward. It wasn't an incredibly profound verse so why did it have this hold on me? It wasn't until I did some deep digging that the reason became clear to me.

Identity was never an easy topic for me to discuss. There have been countless struggles with belonging, fitting in, coming to a sense of self, and to be honest, I didn't start reaching a resolution until earlier this year (at my big age of 28, I'm STILL struggling with it). I've always wanted to fit in, to be regarded in a positive light, to simply not be overlooked. I wasn't even asking for much, or so I think. Just for my voice to be heard in normal conversations instead of being drowned out, or to not be forgotten when my group of people left the vicinity. That's all, but growing up, I wasn't afforded that and it continued on into my adult years. Things got worse in 2018 when I found out things about my family that shifted my relationship with them and myself. The one place where I thought I would always belong was no longer mine. All I wanted was to be spoken for, carry a name that was worthy of respect, be surrounded by people who would be able to defend me when I couldn't do so myself. Instead, I was changing who I was in order to be noticed and spending time with people who would only pay me mind when I got out of character. To be honest, it was sad and if I could go back, I would hug that little girl so tight and remind her how loved she is.

A shift in my mindset didn't happen until a few months ago when I was having dinner with a really good friend. She taught me things about love, belonging, and support that I couldn't find anywhere else. A man, a married man nonetheless, approached me when she stepped away. He approached me in a way that was dripping with disrespect and it brought back the feeling of not being cared for that I had when I was younger. Before I could even respond, she pulled me out of the situation and we went home. She was fuming and I didn't understand why. As far as I was concerned that interaction wasn't too far from normal. But then she said these words to me that will never leave me "Sis, people can't approach you any kind of way, you are spoken for and God don't play about his kids". Then it hit me like a ton of bricks (I kind of felt silly that I didn't see it before but my goodness am I glad I finally did). I can't be approached any kind of way, I can't be spoken to any kind of way (talk to me nice, she would say). Respect and identity are already granted to me not only because of my work and my character but who my Father is. For YEARS I've been dying to carry a name that was respected and little did I know the name that God gave me is much more powerful than any name anyone else could give me. I'm God's child.

Long story short: I've been had the identity, backing privilege, and respect that comes with a heavy-hitter name. The only thing that I was missing was the knowledge of it. Now that I know who I am, I am walking in it. I'm spoken for, and they ain't finna talk to me any kinda way!