Planted Seeds

John 15:1-8 “I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. 2 Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He [a]takes away; and every branch that bears fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit. 3 You are already clean because of the word which I have spoken to you. 4 Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in Me. 5 “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not abide in Me, he is cast out as a branch and is withered; and they gather them and throw them into the fire, and they are burned. 7 If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, you[b] will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you. 8 By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be My disciples.

Transparency moment: I've always struggled with my self-image. Since I can remember, I've always been the tall one, the skinny one, and more recently, the over-sized one. I always thought I stuck out like a sore thumb in the midst of all of my average-sized friends. My physical posture even reflected my struggle. I would consistently hunch over and shrink into myself in hopes of not being seen and, God-willing, disappearing into a crowd. No one purposefully wants to feel this way, and I've learned that people learn how to speak to themselves based on what others have spoken over them.

Bad Seeds

"A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.." Pro.15:4

People tend to underestimate the power of words, not really taking into consideration how they might affect others. The words spoken over me became seeds planted in the soil of my heart. These seeds kept growing and with every destructive proclamation they got stronger and more invasive, destroying the soil altogether. I was so badly damaged that every time someone would try to speak words of positivity over my life it was met with the negativity that had already taken root. The soil was damaged, my heart was damaged.

And no matter how good a seed is, it won't take root in bad soil. People can continue to plant good seeds in you, "you're worth it", "you're capable", "you're strong", "you're courageous", but if the soil is bad, those seeds will mean nothing. It will go in one ear and out the other. You'll question the reality of the seeds and you'll question the intention of the person trying to plant them. If you do this when others try to speak life over you, your soil may need some work. Luckily, I know I good Gardener.

Uprooting

“He replied, “Every plant that my heavenly Father has not planted will be pulled up by the roots..” Matt 15:13

The only way to treat bad soil is to turn it over and uprooting anything is never an easy task. It requires hard work, consistency, and a gentle guiding hand. I've been lucky enough to have a strong group of men and women who look out for my best interest, even when I can't do it for myself. They pray for me, they listen to me, they support my good habits, and most importantly, they guide me to the One who desperately wants me to heal. My pastors, my spiritual mother and sisters, my therapist, and my counselor, have all been strategically placed in my life by the grace of God. The first step in this process is to self-reflect and recognize that there is a problem. Then take them to God. Give Him the chance to heal you and your heart. He's waiting on you to call on him. Everyone who calls on the name of the LORD shall be saved.